Loving My Honey

This post might not be quite what you were expecting.  It's not about a lover or a boyfriend, a honey in that sense of the word.  It's about my dog Honey, the one that I've had since we first moved to Tennessee when I was 12. 

When you've had a dog for 14 years, she's considered a part of the family.  At least in my eyes.  But for other members of the family, she has become too much of a hassle and would rather have her put down. 

Her health isn't perfect, but I definitely don't think she's hurting.  If she were truly in pain and had more bad days than good, I'd like to think I wouldn't hesitate to put her down.  She has trouble breathing sometimes, left over from a bout of heart worms she had when she was much younger.  She was treated for it, but I think it left permanent damage to her heart.  And for many months now, she's developed a habit of using the bathroom in the house. 

She gets restless and often wants out many times during the night.  Waking me several times between 2 and 4 in the morning, and yet she will still pee in the house.  In the same spot every time.  The pee had soaked into the wall so much that the bottom part of the wall is ruined from the continuous wetness.  I think she had used the bathroom some times we didn't catch and other times it would sit there for hours while everyone was at work.  So clearly this added expense and damage to the house does not sit well with my parents.

We have tried recently putting her on a runner outside at night and during the day when no one is home.  I came home on lunch the first time we left her by herself outside and it broke my heart.  I called my mom crying because she wasn't doing well.  She's not used to being on a leash again and she had it stretched to the max and was panting so hard she was foaming at the mouth and she had managed to knock her water bucket over. 

She didn't even notice me or hear me calling her name until I was almost right next to her.  I immediately took her off the leash and brought her inside.  She struggled getting up the steps outside and limped for the next day because of a stiff hip.  I felt terrible, afraid she was going to die just because we were trying to keep her from peeing in the house.

She has gotten better and she is back in the house and up to her old tricks.  Every time her water leaves a mess on the floor, my dad gets mad.  Every time she wants in and out of the house, my dad gets mad.  Every time she pees in the floor, my dad gets mad. 

I know she's a pain, but I just morally can't get on board with putting a dog down because you're tired of her.  How can he not realize what she means to me when I've had her for more than half my life?  I wish I could afford to have my own place with a fenced in back yard where I could take her with me. 

I've been tempted to take her to the vet and see if there's anything they can do with her breathing and see if there's a physical problem that would cause her to keep using the bathroom in the house.  I have made several appointments in the past, but would later cancel them because she seemed to get better.  To be honest I'm afraid they'll tell me she should be put down and she hasn't been to a vet in so long, I'm afraid it could do more harm than good. 

I almost wish I didn't get so so attached to my animals.  I was a mess the other day when she wasn't doing well.  The whole situation is stressful.  Her waking me 3 times in the middle of the night and still peeing in the floor is frustrating.  Battling with my dad on a constant basis to keep her alive is stressful.  Working full time and trying to keep up with my grad school class is stressful.  And now things aren't going well with the guy in DC and I won't be visiting him. 

I need help.  I've prayed to God to give me a sign, to help me make the right decision for the dog.  I hope I'm ready for the answer when He sends it. 

Any advice?