The countdown to vacation has begun! Well okay, actually I've been counting down for 6 weeks now, but we're less than one week away now! The next week has quite a few things coming up.
The first being valentine's day. And as a seemingly constant single gal, valentine's day is just hardly ever on my radar. It falling on a Thursday this year is actually messing up some plans. How do you all feel about Valentine's day? Big, romantic plans? Valentine's day just seems like a prime opportunity for disappointment. Like I said I seem to be single on Valentine's day just about all the time, but I've actually had a few good ones. Two years in a row I had a man cook for me and that is seriously probably the best way to spend it. Better than fighting the crowds and waiting an hour or more for a table at a restaurant. This year I'm having a girl's night on Valentine's day. Me and a girlfriend are planning to cook dinner and have a little wine and hopefully a good ole chick flick to go with it! I'm looking forward to it.
Shortly after Valentine's day I'll be leaving on my cruise! I am so ready for this vacation to begin. Just ready to be away from the routine of work and the day to day schedule here. Can not wait to be aboard that ship, laying out in the beautiful sunshine and hopefully with a drink in my hand! I'm looking forward to doing something new on this trip as well. We have plans to do some ziplining in Mexico, which I've never done and some snorkeling in Jamaica which I've also never done.
While we're on this beautiful cruise, I will be celebrating my 28th birthday! I never thought "aging" would bother me, but now I think it is. I've decided I'm going to stop counting after this birthday. Should have stopped counting 2 or 3 years ago.. I think 30 scares me a little at the moment. It just feels like such a milestone. Like I'm really not a child anymore. In your twenties you can kind of get by with being irresponsible and making mistakes. At 30 you gotta grow up a little. I know age is truly just a number, it's all about how you feel. And well I just don't feel like I should be nearing the 30 mark.
Either way, I hope 28 is a fantastic year. I've decided to enter the world of online dating..again. I just feel like it's worth a shot. In "real" life all I get are men that are married or already have a girlfriend that just want a little something on the side. It's pretty sad to see how easily men are able to cheat. I'm not stereotyping here, because I know women do it too. I'm trying to keep the hope alive that not all men are like that. I'm hoping that on a dating website I'll find someone that is actually looking for someone to date. However, one guy in my life told me recently how he was on dating websites while he had a girlfriend and I'm sure that's not too unusual. So I'm giving it a try, but not setting high expectations.
Wish me luck!
Monday, February 11, 2013
Monday, December 31, 2012
Ready Or Not Here It Comes
Happy New Years Eve to you all! 2013 will be upon us in a matter of hours. Hard to believe. 2012 where did you go? Once again I find myself this new year’s without any plans. Not sure what it is about me and new year’s, but I’m often home alone and maybe having a small pity party. I might be home alone this year, but I think I will forego the pity party. I have two half bottles of wine I think I might finish, watch the ball drop in Times Square and just maybe do a little writing.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve updated this blog. My main excuse can be lack of internet access. I’m aware it’s not a really good excuse as any McDonald’s or Starbucks could provide it. One of my new year’s resolutions is to do better with that. I miss the writing and connecting with other bloggers.
So let’s catch up on the last six months shall we? Last time I wrote I had just taken a trip to Europe for a study abroad and was in the process of buying a house. July brought a sad and unexpected surprise, my grandfather passed away. He had a stroke several years ago, but by all accounts was doing well and was not in bad health so it came as a surprise. The day of his funeral I got word of the final approval on my house and closed on it just days later. One chapter of life ending, while a new one began.
I have been in my house since the end of July. Homeownership has been wonderful so far. I love my house and glad I stuck it out for this one. End of September I had a house warming party. It was really nice to entertain and show off the house a bit.
September brought another sad, unexpected surprise. My dog that would have been 15 years old this December died. I was wreck over her death and felt guilty for months after it. She always stayed inside and because of my long work hours and her age would often go to the bathroom in the house. I put towels down and she would go on them, but it was a daily occurrence to come home and have to clean up after her.
Well the day she died, I put her outside in my fenced in yard during my lunch break. I had a visitor coming to stay with me for a few days and wasn’t sure of what time he’d be arriving. I didn’t want to be cleaning up dog pee as his first introduction to my house. But when I arrived home 5 hours later I found my dog dead on the back porch. Worst feeling ever. I had fought my parents so much to keep her when they had wanted to put her down and then because of something I did, she died. I wish so bad that I had just left her in the house. I had let her in and literally at the last second I put her back out.
As maybe you can tell 2012 has been glorious and butt kicking at the same time. I’ve traveled to places I’ve never been, on trips I will never forget. I lost my last living grandparent, and a pet I had more than half my life. I bought my first home. It’s been quite a year.
The new home has brought other new milestones with it. First Thanksgiving dinner at my house. My first solo Christmas tree.
2013 is well on it’s way and travel plans are already made to get it off to a great start. Come February I will be cruising the ocean blue to Grand Cayman, Jamaica, and Cozumel. I’ve never been on a cruise before and I’m so excited to be spending my 28th birthday aboard the ship.
I also hope to start my new major this coming year. I’ve decided to drop the politics and try for international business. I would really love to live and work abroad one day. I’ve enjoyed the political science major, I just think a background in business will be more beneficial in the long run. I worry about the cost versus the benefit. I was lucky enough to come out of undergrad with no loan debt, but I would have to take out loans to go to grad school full time. The program won’t start until the fall, so I have some time to figure it out.
As for new year’s resolutions:
1. Work on my relationships. Be a better friend, daughter, co-worker. Put some effort into meeting someone.
2. Eat something healthy every day. A piece of fruit, vegetable, etc. I eat way too much processed food.
3. Be happy in the now. I think I am, but it’s always worth repeating.
I hope the holidays have been kind to you all and that you’re excited for what the new year has to bring. For the people that have chosen to remain in my life, I love you and thank you for whatever role you have played. For those that decided you no longer wanted to be a part of my life, I wish you well.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve updated this blog. My main excuse can be lack of internet access. I’m aware it’s not a really good excuse as any McDonald’s or Starbucks could provide it. One of my new year’s resolutions is to do better with that. I miss the writing and connecting with other bloggers.
So let’s catch up on the last six months shall we? Last time I wrote I had just taken a trip to Europe for a study abroad and was in the process of buying a house. July brought a sad and unexpected surprise, my grandfather passed away. He had a stroke several years ago, but by all accounts was doing well and was not in bad health so it came as a surprise. The day of his funeral I got word of the final approval on my house and closed on it just days later. One chapter of life ending, while a new one began.
I have been in my house since the end of July. Homeownership has been wonderful so far. I love my house and glad I stuck it out for this one. End of September I had a house warming party. It was really nice to entertain and show off the house a bit.
September brought another sad, unexpected surprise. My dog that would have been 15 years old this December died. I was wreck over her death and felt guilty for months after it. She always stayed inside and because of my long work hours and her age would often go to the bathroom in the house. I put towels down and she would go on them, but it was a daily occurrence to come home and have to clean up after her.
Well the day she died, I put her outside in my fenced in yard during my lunch break. I had a visitor coming to stay with me for a few days and wasn’t sure of what time he’d be arriving. I didn’t want to be cleaning up dog pee as his first introduction to my house. But when I arrived home 5 hours later I found my dog dead on the back porch. Worst feeling ever. I had fought my parents so much to keep her when they had wanted to put her down and then because of something I did, she died. I wish so bad that I had just left her in the house. I had let her in and literally at the last second I put her back out.
As maybe you can tell 2012 has been glorious and butt kicking at the same time. I’ve traveled to places I’ve never been, on trips I will never forget. I lost my last living grandparent, and a pet I had more than half my life. I bought my first home. It’s been quite a year.
The new home has brought other new milestones with it. First Thanksgiving dinner at my house. My first solo Christmas tree.
2013 is well on it’s way and travel plans are already made to get it off to a great start. Come February I will be cruising the ocean blue to Grand Cayman, Jamaica, and Cozumel. I’ve never been on a cruise before and I’m so excited to be spending my 28th birthday aboard the ship.
I also hope to start my new major this coming year. I’ve decided to drop the politics and try for international business. I would really love to live and work abroad one day. I’ve enjoyed the political science major, I just think a background in business will be more beneficial in the long run. I worry about the cost versus the benefit. I was lucky enough to come out of undergrad with no loan debt, but I would have to take out loans to go to grad school full time. The program won’t start until the fall, so I have some time to figure it out.
As for new year’s resolutions:
1. Work on my relationships. Be a better friend, daughter, co-worker. Put some effort into meeting someone.
2. Eat something healthy every day. A piece of fruit, vegetable, etc. I eat way too much processed food.
3. Be happy in the now. I think I am, but it’s always worth repeating.
I hope the holidays have been kind to you all and that you’re excited for what the new year has to bring. For the people that have chosen to remain in my life, I love you and thank you for whatever role you have played. For those that decided you no longer wanted to be a part of my life, I wish you well.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Happy Birthday America with a touch of Europe
First let me say a big happy 4th of July everyone!! To my friends and family serving abroad I thank you for your service and hope you all have a safe and happy holiday!!
Sorry I've been a little slow on updating you all on my Europe study abroad!! How could I do that when it was all I talked about for weeks or was it months on here? But, alas the update is here!
So how was it you ask? Wonderful, amazing, trip of a lifetime..all of those things. I have to admit it was nice to get back home after two weeks. Two weeks in foreign countries, with people you didn't know well, living out of a suitcase can take its toll. But do not doubt that it was a grand time!! It was just nice to get back to the familiar.
Lets get into the details though shall we??!! First stop on the Europe trip was Paris! For those of you that don't remember, this was my first trip to Europe and it all started out with that long plane ride! Two hours in and I just couldn't believe it had ONLY been two hours. I was like that little kid, "are we there yet??" I have to say though, the flight attendants are quite efficient on those large airplanes and I enjoyed watching all the movies.
Finally we land in Paris at 8am their time, making it 1am in the time we're used to. We were running on fumes and excitement at being in Paris!! We get there and retrieve our luggage without a problem so we were off to a good start. However, we then realize we don't know how to get to our hotel and duh, we don't speak the language. So we ask at information for help, the lady laughs and tells us in perfect English she doesn't understand us. Ohhh so that's how it's going to be huh? Guess she got it the second time cause she directs us to a bus that will get us in the general area. It takes us ten minutes to figure out how to work the ticket machine to purchase said bus ticket. I'm wheeling our luggage on a cart over to the bus and manage to overturn it so our luggage falls to the ground where there just so happens to be a mud puddle. My friend and I are cracking up, maybe out of exhaustion and the whole situation, while the Frenchman stands there and stares at us and doesn't offer to help with our 50 pound luggage. We manage to get ourselves and our luggage on the bus and then literally get dropped off in the center of Paris and still don't know where the hotel is. At least we're closer right?
We set out on foot after asking for directions. We go a block or two, then ask someone else. We go another block or two, and a lady asks if we're lost. She tells us to get on the metro. Uhhhh I don't think we're ready for all that. Then we decide to get a taxi. Finally I'm able to flag one down and he says "Oh, it's just right over there." And drives off. Really guy?! I don't know where "right over there" is and I wanted you to take me there! We walk another block and manage to get another taxi who decides to actually take us there. He did require my help in my putting my suitcase in the trunk. Lol these French men, I tell ya. But, finally after being in the country for nearly 4 hours we made it to the hotel :)
The hotel there was fine, small but clean. Seriously it had the smallest elevator and beds I've ever seen, but we were in a good area and it was the only hotel on the whole trip where we had free WIFI in our room. So my friend and I change clothes and hit the streets to see Paris!! First night we went to Notre Dame and did a little shopping. I went to sleep around 10 and then was wide awake at 4 in the morning. I made a phone call home and then went back to sleep and managed to sleep til noon. Dang it!!
We had a big day though. We went to the Louvre and saw the Mona Lisa. We walked the Champs Elysees and saw the Arc de Triomphe. And of course we saw the Eiffel Tower up close. All of it just gorgeous! These things we hear about and see on tv and I was there in person, taking it all in. I just love to travel. Shopping in Paris, stopping in a bar right of the Champs Elysees for an afternoon cocktail to ease our aching feet, or having a cappucino and a choocolate pastry outside Notre Dame, I mean how cool is that?
It was a quick and somewhat expensive trip to Paris, but I think it was worth it. The next morning we were up and catching taxi to the train station. This trip was full of firsts as this was also my first train ride! Pretty cool it got to be from Paris to London. I have to say I was pretty proud of myself for all that I handled in Paris. We didn't have any troubles and got ourselves around the city just fine. I'm happy to say we did figure out their metro system and it was definitely cheaper than the taxi! Gives yourself a little confidence to travel like that, to be totally responsible for yourself in a foreign country where you don't speak the language.
Since this post has gotten really long I will break the Europe trip into a few parts. So stay tuned for London and Berlin!! I wanted to leave you with a few pictures of Paris, but they're not loading for some reason. Hopefully, next time!
Sorry I've been a little slow on updating you all on my Europe study abroad!! How could I do that when it was all I talked about for weeks or was it months on here? But, alas the update is here!
So how was it you ask? Wonderful, amazing, trip of a lifetime..all of those things. I have to admit it was nice to get back home after two weeks. Two weeks in foreign countries, with people you didn't know well, living out of a suitcase can take its toll. But do not doubt that it was a grand time!! It was just nice to get back to the familiar.
Lets get into the details though shall we??!! First stop on the Europe trip was Paris! For those of you that don't remember, this was my first trip to Europe and it all started out with that long plane ride! Two hours in and I just couldn't believe it had ONLY been two hours. I was like that little kid, "are we there yet??" I have to say though, the flight attendants are quite efficient on those large airplanes and I enjoyed watching all the movies.
Finally we land in Paris at 8am their time, making it 1am in the time we're used to. We were running on fumes and excitement at being in Paris!! We get there and retrieve our luggage without a problem so we were off to a good start. However, we then realize we don't know how to get to our hotel and duh, we don't speak the language. So we ask at information for help, the lady laughs and tells us in perfect English she doesn't understand us. Ohhh so that's how it's going to be huh? Guess she got it the second time cause she directs us to a bus that will get us in the general area. It takes us ten minutes to figure out how to work the ticket machine to purchase said bus ticket. I'm wheeling our luggage on a cart over to the bus and manage to overturn it so our luggage falls to the ground where there just so happens to be a mud puddle. My friend and I are cracking up, maybe out of exhaustion and the whole situation, while the Frenchman stands there and stares at us and doesn't offer to help with our 50 pound luggage. We manage to get ourselves and our luggage on the bus and then literally get dropped off in the center of Paris and still don't know where the hotel is. At least we're closer right?
We set out on foot after asking for directions. We go a block or two, then ask someone else. We go another block or two, and a lady asks if we're lost. She tells us to get on the metro. Uhhhh I don't think we're ready for all that. Then we decide to get a taxi. Finally I'm able to flag one down and he says "Oh, it's just right over there." And drives off. Really guy?! I don't know where "right over there" is and I wanted you to take me there! We walk another block and manage to get another taxi who decides to actually take us there. He did require my help in my putting my suitcase in the trunk. Lol these French men, I tell ya. But, finally after being in the country for nearly 4 hours we made it to the hotel :)
The hotel there was fine, small but clean. Seriously it had the smallest elevator and beds I've ever seen, but we were in a good area and it was the only hotel on the whole trip where we had free WIFI in our room. So my friend and I change clothes and hit the streets to see Paris!! First night we went to Notre Dame and did a little shopping. I went to sleep around 10 and then was wide awake at 4 in the morning. I made a phone call home and then went back to sleep and managed to sleep til noon. Dang it!!
We had a big day though. We went to the Louvre and saw the Mona Lisa. We walked the Champs Elysees and saw the Arc de Triomphe. And of course we saw the Eiffel Tower up close. All of it just gorgeous! These things we hear about and see on tv and I was there in person, taking it all in. I just love to travel. Shopping in Paris, stopping in a bar right of the Champs Elysees for an afternoon cocktail to ease our aching feet, or having a cappucino and a choocolate pastry outside Notre Dame, I mean how cool is that?
It was a quick and somewhat expensive trip to Paris, but I think it was worth it. The next morning we were up and catching taxi to the train station. This trip was full of firsts as this was also my first train ride! Pretty cool it got to be from Paris to London. I have to say I was pretty proud of myself for all that I handled in Paris. We didn't have any troubles and got ourselves around the city just fine. I'm happy to say we did figure out their metro system and it was definitely cheaper than the taxi! Gives yourself a little confidence to travel like that, to be totally responsible for yourself in a foreign country where you don't speak the language.
Since this post has gotten really long I will break the Europe trip into a few parts. So stay tuned for London and Berlin!! I wanted to leave you with a few pictures of Paris, but they're not loading for some reason. Hopefully, next time!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Guess What??!!
Guess what friends???!!! I'm buying a house!!! I can't tell you how excited I am!
I've been looking at homes for about 3 months now and I'm so glad I waited for this one. When it's the right one I think you just know because that's how it happened here. I've been saying that I'm not in a big hurry to buy a house, I don't HAVE to buy one, but it was something worth looking into. So I had the time to find THE right one for me.
The realtor sent me pictures of the house on Monday, we saw it Wednesday and again Thursday with my parents and I put my first offer in that night. By noon on Friday we had a deal!! I'll have to post pictures later, but it has a gorgeous kitchen so I guess I'll have to really start cooking and put it to good use. It has a nice sized lot and the back yard already has a privacy fence which works perfectly for my dog. The area is very homey, with sidewalks and lamp posts and flower baskets. I can't wait to move in and become a part of the neighborhood. I should be able to move in around mid-July.
I'm afraid to get too excited and too ahead of myself, because of course it's not actually mine until closing and I have the keys in my hand. And of course the timing is a little stressful because I leave Tuesday for Europe! I'm trying to pack and do readings for school and call about home owners insurance and get paperwork to the loan officer, etc etc. But it's all good! All I can say is what a year this is turning out to be!!
First trip to NYC. First trip to 3 European countries. And I will be an offical homeowner in about a month! Wow.
I guess I need to get off the computer now and finish packing. Have I mentioned that I hate packing?? Especially when the weather is so uncertain, but apparently it's quite chilly in London..and Berlin. How do you decide what to wear on the airplane? My main goal is always comfort, but then I want to look nice too. I don't know why but deciding what to wear on the dang plane is always a struggle for me. Wish me luck and I will return in two weeks!
I've been looking at homes for about 3 months now and I'm so glad I waited for this one. When it's the right one I think you just know because that's how it happened here. I've been saying that I'm not in a big hurry to buy a house, I don't HAVE to buy one, but it was something worth looking into. So I had the time to find THE right one for me.
The realtor sent me pictures of the house on Monday, we saw it Wednesday and again Thursday with my parents and I put my first offer in that night. By noon on Friday we had a deal!! I'll have to post pictures later, but it has a gorgeous kitchen so I guess I'll have to really start cooking and put it to good use. It has a nice sized lot and the back yard already has a privacy fence which works perfectly for my dog. The area is very homey, with sidewalks and lamp posts and flower baskets. I can't wait to move in and become a part of the neighborhood. I should be able to move in around mid-July.
I'm afraid to get too excited and too ahead of myself, because of course it's not actually mine until closing and I have the keys in my hand. And of course the timing is a little stressful because I leave Tuesday for Europe! I'm trying to pack and do readings for school and call about home owners insurance and get paperwork to the loan officer, etc etc. But it's all good! All I can say is what a year this is turning out to be!!
First trip to NYC. First trip to 3 European countries. And I will be an offical homeowner in about a month! Wow.
I guess I need to get off the computer now and finish packing. Have I mentioned that I hate packing?? Especially when the weather is so uncertain, but apparently it's quite chilly in London..and Berlin. How do you decide what to wear on the airplane? My main goal is always comfort, but then I want to look nice too. I don't know why but deciding what to wear on the dang plane is always a struggle for me. Wish me luck and I will return in two weeks!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Kudos to Us
I want to send a giant "kudos" out to all of us that write blogs. As I was scrolling through the recent posts of blogs I follow I noticed so many serious topics. Women that are writing about trips to fertility clinics, about the grief one continues to work to overcome with the passing of her husband, the search for love, divorce, school worries, job worries, affairs, etc. etc.
I often worry and wonder about putting too much information out into cyber space with what I write about. Am I putting too much out there? Maybe revealing too much? There's a fine line, and I'm sure I don't have it right, but I do believe that those that really put it all out there are helping someone. For one I think it's just good for my soul to be able to write and put my feelings and thoughts out there. Not to mention the absolute power of words and the impact they can have. I have cried over blog posts, I have laughed and cheered for the women of the blogs I follow.
Any kind of art is personal. Writing is very personal, even when what you're writing is fictional, but of course it doesn't get any more real than writing about your own life. You're putting yourself out there to be judged, to be criticized, to be compared. I just wanted to take this time to say thank you to all of you that put yourself out there. You inspire me. You give me words that I need so badly to read at just right the time. You are my outlet in more ways than one. Please continue to do what you do.
I often worry and wonder about putting too much information out into cyber space with what I write about. Am I putting too much out there? Maybe revealing too much? There's a fine line, and I'm sure I don't have it right, but I do believe that those that really put it all out there are helping someone. For one I think it's just good for my soul to be able to write and put my feelings and thoughts out there. Not to mention the absolute power of words and the impact they can have. I have cried over blog posts, I have laughed and cheered for the women of the blogs I follow.
Any kind of art is personal. Writing is very personal, even when what you're writing is fictional, but of course it doesn't get any more real than writing about your own life. You're putting yourself out there to be judged, to be criticized, to be compared. I just wanted to take this time to say thank you to all of you that put yourself out there. You inspire me. You give me words that I need so badly to read at just right the time. You are my outlet in more ways than one. Please continue to do what you do.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Just Stick With Me...
This is going to be an odd, odd blog post but just stick with me okay?
The other night I was doing a little TV watching with mom. She recently had surgery and has been doing A LOT of TV watching. It's been nice to just lay in bed and have those marathons with her though. So after Jerseylicious went off (I know right? My mom was watching Jerseylicious!) a documentary type show came on about sperm donors.
It was interesting to say the least and raises a lot of questions and I would just like to get opinions and thoughts from others. In this episode, they were following around a specific man who was a sperm donor while he was in law school. Apparently it pays quite well to be a sperm donor. He is currently engaged to a woman, who knew early on in their relationship that he had been a sperm donor. The kicker is that there is a website where he was able to put in his donor ID number and it has opened himself up to be contacted by families that used his sperm. There is also a site where children that were born from donor sperm can look up their half siblings.
That's all a lot to digest. The man that donated his sperm back in school has found out that he is the father of more than 70 children. It showed in the episode where he met with a family, a single woman that used his sperm to have her two children.
Maybe it's a little odd, but I am all for sperm donation. There are 70 families out there that were able to have children because of this man. These were wanted children!! And as someone who has considered the possibility of having to use donor sperm to have a child, I can't help but see the good in it.
What I'm not sure I agree with is the doing away of the anonymity. Granted this man willingly put his ID number and information out there to be contacted, I just can't understand why. He met with two young children that are probably confused now, that while this man is their biological father, he's not their dad and that was never the intention behind it. You didn't become a sperm donor because you wanted to have a relationship with 70 families. It just gets tricky I think.
They also showed several half siblings that had found each other through the website. Which seemed to be working well for them, but I can't help but think it wouldn't always turn out to be a good situation. Sometimes we just need to leave well enough alone. I think sperm donation is great and can be a good avenue for families looking to have children that can't through their own means, but as we all know sharing DNA doesn't really make someone family.
I know this is a weird topic, but what are your thoughts? Do you know anyone that has been a donor? Do you know someone that has had a child using donor sperm? Or would you ever use donor sperm to have a child?
The other night I was doing a little TV watching with mom. She recently had surgery and has been doing A LOT of TV watching. It's been nice to just lay in bed and have those marathons with her though. So after Jerseylicious went off (I know right? My mom was watching Jerseylicious!) a documentary type show came on about sperm donors.
It was interesting to say the least and raises a lot of questions and I would just like to get opinions and thoughts from others. In this episode, they were following around a specific man who was a sperm donor while he was in law school. Apparently it pays quite well to be a sperm donor. He is currently engaged to a woman, who knew early on in their relationship that he had been a sperm donor. The kicker is that there is a website where he was able to put in his donor ID number and it has opened himself up to be contacted by families that used his sperm. There is also a site where children that were born from donor sperm can look up their half siblings.
That's all a lot to digest. The man that donated his sperm back in school has found out that he is the father of more than 70 children. It showed in the episode where he met with a family, a single woman that used his sperm to have her two children.
Maybe it's a little odd, but I am all for sperm donation. There are 70 families out there that were able to have children because of this man. These were wanted children!! And as someone who has considered the possibility of having to use donor sperm to have a child, I can't help but see the good in it.
What I'm not sure I agree with is the doing away of the anonymity. Granted this man willingly put his ID number and information out there to be contacted, I just can't understand why. He met with two young children that are probably confused now, that while this man is their biological father, he's not their dad and that was never the intention behind it. You didn't become a sperm donor because you wanted to have a relationship with 70 families. It just gets tricky I think.
They also showed several half siblings that had found each other through the website. Which seemed to be working well for them, but I can't help but think it wouldn't always turn out to be a good situation. Sometimes we just need to leave well enough alone. I think sperm donation is great and can be a good avenue for families looking to have children that can't through their own means, but as we all know sharing DNA doesn't really make someone family.
I know this is a weird topic, but what are your thoughts? Do you know anyone that has been a donor? Do you know someone that has had a child using donor sperm? Or would you ever use donor sperm to have a child?
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Life Lately
I'm a little behind in telling you all this, but school is out my friends!!! Funny how I can be in my late twenties, only took one class and still be super excited to say that phrase! After a few weeks of super stressing over a final exam that was a fourth of my grade and a paper that was worth 30% of my final grade I made it through. I pushed past that "holy shit why didn't I start this paper sooner??!!" feeling and somehow managed to eek out an A in that dreadful Political Statistics course.
Even though I work full time, it's a relief and like a vacation of its own to be out of school. To not spend my two days off doing homework and sitting through a three hour class. It's wonderful to reclaim those hours as mine, to spend however I choose, and not how I must. This "vacation" will be somewhat short lived as my Summer Study Abroad is working its away around. I'm not going to complain about the two glorious weeks I"m going to spend in Europe, but I might complain a little about the 15 page paper that will be due when I return.
In the mean time I'm going to be stoked about the days I will spend in Paris, London, and Berlin. It's a trip of a lifetime, something I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember now. I'm trying to push down those little nerves and strands of worry of being in foreign cities with people I barely know and don't know the language. I'm trying to forget that I ever saw those Hostel movies or Taken. Instead I'm thinking that in just a few weeks I will be walking the streets of Paris, I will finally get to see that gorgeous Eiffel Tower with my own eyes. I will tour through Westminster Abbey and the House of Parliament. I will see a Holocaust Memorial in Berlin. So much history to soak in and I absolutely can't wait for the experience.
That all sounds pretty grand right? And still part of me is blah and frustrated with this situation I continue to find myself in with a man I shouldn't be seeing. It's over and it's not over...make sense? Of course not, I know. I need to be a mature stinkin adult and think about my best interests. I say think about my best interests and at the same time, it's better for others too. A lot of people could be hurt and then what? I just find myself suffering a lot of little hurts on a daily basis. And why do I want to do that to myself? I know this situation isn't changing, so why do I put myself out there to be hurt again and again? To be made to feel just a little less, a little less wanted.
The kind of funny thing is, part of the motivation to walk away came from a book I was reading. A Nora Roberts romance novel. One where the characters are celebrating Christmas. Things aren't perfect but there's a lot of love, a lot of family, etc. It hit me that I will never have a moment like that with this man. And it's something I do want. I want to find a person to share those moments with. So why am I holding myself in this stand still? I told myself I was happy, I was living in the moment. And I can still stand behind that, maybe I would still be happy and not thinking this way if he hadn't changed things. If he wasn't trying to do the right thing, although we're not doing it very successfully, I might still be okay in this middle ground. Not really moving forward or moving back. But if you're not moving forward, then aren't you moving backward to some degree?
Oh life..I just want it all and I want it all now. I want the love of my life. I want to buy a beautiful home. One thought that comforted me this week is that there's no age limit or expiration date on a soul mate. There's no rule that says I have to be married by the time I'm 30. I could meet that soul mate at 50 and still have 30 years or so to spend with him.
I've just gotta live, live this life, day by day.
Even though I work full time, it's a relief and like a vacation of its own to be out of school. To not spend my two days off doing homework and sitting through a three hour class. It's wonderful to reclaim those hours as mine, to spend however I choose, and not how I must. This "vacation" will be somewhat short lived as my Summer Study Abroad is working its away around. I'm not going to complain about the two glorious weeks I"m going to spend in Europe, but I might complain a little about the 15 page paper that will be due when I return.
In the mean time I'm going to be stoked about the days I will spend in Paris, London, and Berlin. It's a trip of a lifetime, something I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember now. I'm trying to push down those little nerves and strands of worry of being in foreign cities with people I barely know and don't know the language. I'm trying to forget that I ever saw those Hostel movies or Taken. Instead I'm thinking that in just a few weeks I will be walking the streets of Paris, I will finally get to see that gorgeous Eiffel Tower with my own eyes. I will tour through Westminster Abbey and the House of Parliament. I will see a Holocaust Memorial in Berlin. So much history to soak in and I absolutely can't wait for the experience.
That all sounds pretty grand right? And still part of me is blah and frustrated with this situation I continue to find myself in with a man I shouldn't be seeing. It's over and it's not over...make sense? Of course not, I know. I need to be a mature stinkin adult and think about my best interests. I say think about my best interests and at the same time, it's better for others too. A lot of people could be hurt and then what? I just find myself suffering a lot of little hurts on a daily basis. And why do I want to do that to myself? I know this situation isn't changing, so why do I put myself out there to be hurt again and again? To be made to feel just a little less, a little less wanted.
The kind of funny thing is, part of the motivation to walk away came from a book I was reading. A Nora Roberts romance novel. One where the characters are celebrating Christmas. Things aren't perfect but there's a lot of love, a lot of family, etc. It hit me that I will never have a moment like that with this man. And it's something I do want. I want to find a person to share those moments with. So why am I holding myself in this stand still? I told myself I was happy, I was living in the moment. And I can still stand behind that, maybe I would still be happy and not thinking this way if he hadn't changed things. If he wasn't trying to do the right thing, although we're not doing it very successfully, I might still be okay in this middle ground. Not really moving forward or moving back. But if you're not moving forward, then aren't you moving backward to some degree?
Oh life..I just want it all and I want it all now. I want the love of my life. I want to buy a beautiful home. One thought that comforted me this week is that there's no age limit or expiration date on a soul mate. There's no rule that says I have to be married by the time I'm 30. I could meet that soul mate at 50 and still have 30 years or so to spend with him.
I've just gotta live, live this life, day by day.
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