Happy weekend friends! I hope it's been treating you well so far.
I was supposed to have dinner with my online guy tonight, but due to some stomach issues I was having, we rescheduled it. Is it bad that I'm not really excited about it? So I'm not sure if my rescheduling was so much because of the stomach problems or because I just didn't really want to go. It is stupid though because it's just dinner. I should at least go meet the guy for crying out loud!
We have emailed, texted, and talked on the phone. He's really great on paper so to speak. His personality comes out well in writing. But over the phone...maybe not so great. And so I wonder how it will be in person? His pictures aren't the best either so it's hard to get a good idea of what he looks like and if there's even an attraction. But again, it is just dinner.
When it comes to dating I'm curious if most people only go on dates with the people they really see a future with, the ones they're really attracted to? Or do people go for quantity? Just happy to be going out with someone? Does there come a time or age when you have to change that perspective? At 20 it's okay to go on a plethora of dates with people you're not really interested in, but by 26 maybe you should be only going on dates with people you could be serious with?
And how far into dating or getting to know someone do you discuss your sexual history? Or is it even okay to bring up the number of previous partners? What about if you've had or have an STD?
I think it's so important to have these conversations. It seems we're not talking enough with our partners, at least not about the important topics.
These things can affect your health, your well being, and your life! Why do we not find it important enough to discuss before getting involved with someone? Or taking the steps to protect ourselves? There are many ways to prevent pregnancy, but really only two ways to prevent STDs.
1. Abstinence
2. Condoms
3. If you can say trust and honesty with your partner, but I don't think that's a 100% fool proof method.
And since at some point we're all going to give up abstinence, the number one way to prevent the spread of STDs is to use protection. Please don't think it can't happen to you, whether you've had 2 partners or 20, it doesn't matter. Whether you've dated the person 2 months or 2 years, it doesn't matter. It can happen. If you're not using condoms, you will probably have some kind of STD scare or occurrence at some point in your life. No round of (hopefully) good sex is worth that, not when the effects could be long term.
Talk to your partner. Talk to your friends. Talk to your mom even. You might be surprised at how many people have been affected by STDs. But most importantly, talk to your partner BEFORE sleeping with them.
Be safe. Be responsible. Take care of yourself.
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
ReplyDeleteI've only really had three boyfriends two of which where serious. The first guy was my high school sweetheart and we where even engaged but it just didn't work out. Now I'm with my fiance and it got serious pretty fast but we had a connection right from the start. I think it's important to have a connection with someone. I don't think quantity should really matter.
I think you're right, when you're twenty it's totally fine to go on a bunch of dates even if the guy isn't right, but it's kind of different when your in your mid twenties. I think a bunch of first dates are fine though, just to go meet the guy and confidently either check or cross him off your list!
ReplyDeleteBUT- as you've put it, your not very sure about this guy. This reminds me of the words I live by when I'm shopping, If you aren't sure don't buy it! haha
I mean, I'm having this dilemma right now. I just got out of a relationship where I thought we were going to be together for a lot longer. Now single, I really feel like I want to be with someone who wants to work towards, "building something". My last boyfriend was 28, didn't know what he wanted, plus I feel like I was his first "real" girlfriend. Won't be doing that again. So I guess I would say, date broadly, within a specific circle. Like, don't date a 25 year old who is just looking for a good time hoping you can change him.Or someone who has never had a successful relationship, or is moving to Peru in 4.5 months or something. But don't necessarily turn down a date for a stupid reason like, "He's only 5'8, and if we have kids they might be too short." I guess you gotta find some sort of middle ground.
ReplyDeleteFirst: LOVE that you're writing about sexuality and responsibility. Second: You're absolutely right, it's only dinner. Who knows? He may look great on paper because he's a good writer. And everyone loves a good writer, right?
ReplyDelete