Double Standards

Double standards.  We're all guilty of them I'm sure, but is there ever a time when a double standard is right or okay? 

I ask this because of something that came up this week at work.  My boss had an envelope put in her mailbox sometime this week.  Inside contained a typed letter with a black and white photo of a man.  The letter goes on to explain how this person that wrote the letter has 3 kids and had recently joined a church in the area.  Said that one day, she (I'm assuming) went to pick up one of her children from the toddlers/day care room and found the man playing with her daughter's private.  Actually, she said privets..but again I'm assuming privates.

The letter writer said she left screaming and went to complain at the church the next day.  She was told they had a witness to the event and that it didn't happen like she said it did.  The lady said she went to a lawyer and was told she didn't have a case and she didn't have money to file a suit on her own. 

I don't know how long ago this incident occurred, but I guess this person decided to take it into their own hands and has delivered letters throughout the neighborhood.  Which also happens to be the neighborhood he lives in.  At this time I don't think anything can be traced back to the person that delivered the letters, all addresses and the return address of the church were typed on to the envelope and the letter was typed. 

The letter called the man a MONSTER and said that the she and her family have moved away where he can't find them and she fears what he might do. 

Sooo...there's the situation.  A very difficult situation. 

If it actually happened like the letter says, then I feel for the family and the child.  They seemed to have been brushed off and maybe lack of money and prestige in the community/church kept it from really being investigated.  If that's the case, then I have to say good for whoever typed the letters for doing what they could to protect their child and maybe other children.

If maybe this person was mistaken in what they say or maybe has just blown it out of proportion, then I feel for this man's family.  Him and his family bank where I work and we see them fairly often.  He has a teenage son and as this is a small town, things could get ugly for them.  I would hate to see a family villainized over something that isn't true. 

So the double standard comes in because I wonder are we quick to judge a man changing a young female child?  Is that inappropriate for a man to clean and change a diaper on a young girl that he has no relation to or is even close to?  Why do we look at that any different than a woman changing a young boy that she isn't related to?  Is it because we usually hear about men being the sexual predators and molesters?  But is that fair and does it make it right?

I'm not a mother, but I have to say I might be uncomfortable with virtually a strange man changing my daughter's diaper.  But isn't that what you sign up for when you leave them in a church daycare or any other public daycare for that matter?  When you leave your children in the hands of strangers at day cares, some of them are bound to have male employees.

I don't know if there's really a right or wrong answer here.  But I know the bottom line is that we have a responsibility to our children to protect them and sometimes you just have to go with your gut, whether it's politically correct or not.