I Owe My Blog An Apology..

I owe my blog an apology because our one year anniversary was three days ago and I didn't do anything to commemorate the day! Where's the commitment on my part? I really need to step it up on this blogging thing.

But seriously, this blog of mine has been on an interesting ride over the last year. I love that I started blogging and that I have this as a way to look back over my year. To see where I wanted to go and where I ended up and all the ups and downs. This blog has definitely broadened in scope from what I was first writing about. To read the beginning of my journey and where I thought I was going please read Square One.

I've gotten almost a 100 followers in a year which I think is pretty amazing and awesome. Thank you to each and every one of you that read and comment and have at least a little interest in my life. I hope you have found something here you can relate to or connect to and will stick around a little while longer.

In other news I feel like my January has not gotten any better than when I last wrote. I go from one extreme to the next with diet and exercise. I was pretty proud of myself for doing a mile on the treadmill two nights in a row. But tonight I had cheese dip and a cupcake for dinner. Yes...cheesedip and a cupcake. I'm not even going to tell you what my breakfast and lunch consisted of. It was just one of those days you know?

I really feel no motivation for work right now. Sad to say, but I'm just not in the mood for it. I'm just not in the mood for people's little attitudes. I'm not in the mood for the day to day mishaps that are bound to happen. I'm not in the mood for office politics that are bound to come up from time to time. What kinda sucks is, I know it's me. I'm the problem.

I worry some that maybe this isn't just a phase or a bad spot, but that I might really be tired of the job. I have to work on my attitude, because I don't want to get in a funk with this job that I can't get myself out of it. I would like to have a job where I didn't mind working more than 40 hours if it was necessary. I don't feel that way right now. I feel cranky and irritated and like the expectations are too high if it might call for me to work more than 40 hours or change my schedule at the drop of a hat. That's not management material and I know it.

School starts back in like a week and I can't say I'm really looking forward to that either. I had thought about dropping the class because of work and money and all those other good reasons. I'm not feeling super motivated for it right now and if I feel like that NOW how am I going to feel in a month or two when I'm up to my elbows in homework?? But I just need to suck it up. I paid my money and I will be going to class next week.

My study abroad trip to London and Berlin is still up in the air. It could be February before I know if I will have the time off work. I had thought about just not going anyway and taking my two weeks of vacation to do something else, maybe see some friends around the country. But then I figured I'd end up doing nothing and I would miss out on my chance to go to Europe! I mean I really can't believe I even considered not going. I've been wanting to go to Europe for so long now.

But friends you know what I would really like? I realized as I was watching the Bachelor tonight, yes I know it's bad reality tv, that I would really like to go on a date. A good old fashioned date. The kind where the guy actually picks you up at your house. Not where I have to meet him at his house or out at the restaurant, but where he comes to get me. Where he acts like a gentleman. Where we hold hands and talk about our friends and family, likes and dislikes, dreams and disappointments.

Sorry I know this just got a little cheesy. Sometimes I just feel so disappointed and discouraged by the dating scene. A guy friend of mine told me the other night that when he first met me he thought I was a hopeless romantic and that I was exactly like he thought. I've never thought of myself as that hopeless romantic type and I don't believe in love at first sight. It's nice to know that despite everything I've been through, maybe I am a bit of a hopeless romantic and I'm still hoping for my happy ending.