Square one

Wow...so I finally started a blog.  I have been toying with the idea for some time, but couldn't really decide on a good topic and I figure since this is my second go around with the Peace Corps maybe I should keep a good account of everything.  I get kind of obsessive about reading them anyways, so maybe I can contribute something as well. 

So yeah this is my second time applying to for the Peace Corps.  My first time I started the application in 2007, just as I was graduating college.  I was in Florida doing an internship with Disney World when I went through the first interview and finger printing, etc.  I finally submitted my medical packet in late 2008..yPoeah I took my time with it, the whole not having health insurance and stuff.  I was medically cleared and started talking to the placement officer.  He wanted me to get some more experience with teaching or tutoring since I was nominated for an English teaching assignment.  So I signed up to volunteer at the local Literacy Council over the summer of 2009.  It was pretty awesome, me and another girl co-taught an adult ESL class.  Lots of fun.  Once the placement officer knew I was doing that he invited me to serve in Ukraine leaving in September of 2009.  When I received the invitation in the mail I just wasn't as stoked as I thought I would be.  Absolutely nothing against Ukraine or the English teaching, however I did accept and prepared to leave in September.  I quit my job early September and bought things I hoped would help me survive a Ukrainian winter.  Staging was set in Philadelphia.  I arrived the day before our actual staging and was able to hang with a friend of mine that lives there.  Next day, went through our staging and everything, was supposed to wake up early the next day and get on a bus go to New York City and get on a plane headed for Ukraine.  I'm not sure what happened, but I lost it that night.  Plain and simple I think I got too scared and couldn't talk myself back into it, even though my friend tried his best over the phone that night.  People just couldn't believe that I didn't go, I had wanted it to so badly and had talked about it for so long.  I couldn't believe it either, but I went down the next morning and told them I wasn't going and before noon I was on a plane heading back home. 
It probably would have been easier to go to Ukraine, I mean I had quit my job and didn't really want to go back and just having to face everyone.  I felt embarrassed for not going.  But I was back home, wallowed in despair for a week or two and then got a new job.  I've been at the credit union for over a year now and I really enjoy it. 
Overall though I can't say if I regret not going or not.  Part of me wishes I had gone, of course.  I think once I had gotten there I would have been perfectly fine, but I had a huge "What the HELL am I doing??" moment and it just didn't feel right to me.  I'm not entirely sure how much I believe in the whole everything happens for a reason thing anymore, but I do enjoy my job, I kinda reunited with a friend from high school, did some traveling including my first trip out of the country (it was Mexico, but hey it's still out of the country!)  I'm sure that doesn't begin to compare to Ukraine, but it's my life and I"m ok with it. 

Moving on...

So now I'm on round two with the Peace Corps.  I submitted my second application in Sept/Oct.  I had my interview December 14th.  I was pretty nervous this go around with the interview, since I left at staging last time I was afraid my recruiter wouldn't nominate me.  But all went well and he wanted to nominate me for another English teaching type position.  I really wanted to do something more business oriented since I used to be a manager at a small business (pizza place) and now work at a Credit Union, so I asked about that and he had me fill out the business skill addendum.  I emailed it to him and the next day he called me and nominated me for a Business Advising position for a Spanish speaking Caribbean country (Dominican Republic) leaving mid-July mid-August.  I was/am soooo excited!!! 
I received the medical packet the week of Christmas, so the next week I started calling to set up Dentist and Doctor appointments.  It all just seems to take forever when you're anxious lol.  I have all my dentist paperwork done and the eyeglass form filled out.  I had my doctor appointment this week I'm just waiting for all the lab results to be mailed to me.  The nurse totally hurt me drawing all the blood and my other arm is still sore from a tetanus shot. =)  I also had to have some forms filled out by a urologist because of a stupid kidney stone I had a few years ago, I'm still waiting to get those back too.  I really just want to get everything in the mail and put it back in the hands of Peace Corps, I think I'm more nervous this time around that I won't get medically cleared or won't get full clearance and won't be able to go to the Domincan Republic.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much because I know nothing is set in stone, I still have to go through the placement officer as well and he or she could decide not to invite me.  But I'm gong to keep my fingers crossed and hopefully get all the forms filled out right on my end the first time around. 

I feel like I have soo much to say, but I guess this is enough of a start.  I'm going to end with the quote that inspired the title of my blog:

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is."  Mary Anne Radmacher