Almost A Second Chance

This will probably be the last post I write about my sad, sad love life.  At least for a while anyway.  I don't know if I mentioned in my last post but I hadn't talked to my online guy in about a week.  We had our date at the movies on Friday, talked briefly Saturday when he invited me to come over Sunday, and then I didn't talk to him again until THIS Friday when I texted him. 

I figured when I didn't hear from him, we were done.  It was just very strange because nothing had happened.  Everything was fine, pretty good up until that last week.  Then he just got busy and we didn't talk much.  So I couldn't just leave things like that.  I kind of figured that he wasn't going to get in touch with me, because after you go so long without talking to someone you've been seeing it's just kind of weird right?  Where do you go from there?  But I just had to know what happened, what changed.  So I texted him and asked just that.

Things were fine Friday night, he said it had been a crazy week, he went to the hospital Tuesday, job interview Wednesday, and he figured when he hadn't heard from me by Wednesday he figured I was just done.  We kind of said our peace about some things.  He needed space to work sometimes, he gets a one track mind, but for me to call or text and yell at him if I need to.  He didn't want me to get my feelings hurt if I didn't hear from him or if he didn't get in touch with me first and he still wanted me to be comfortable to speak my mind.  Said he would try to be more reassuring with me in the future, etc. etc.  Sounds pretty decent right?  Said he was definitely willing to give it another shot if I was.  We ended the talk with making plans for me to come out there Saturday night.

Fast forward to Saturday afternoon.  I sent him a message to see if we were still getting together that night.  I didn't hear from him for 2 hours. I sent him another message saying guess not.  He then wrote back just saying he had missed my first message, but that it was getting late by then and he had to go to his brother's but I was welcome to come along if I wanted..  WTF???  Uhhh, no thanks pal.  He just said okay have a good night. 

Seriously??  Asshole. 

So of course, I texted him today saying I guess we're not trying again then?  I just can't leave things alone apparently.  I mean the writing is on the wall for me right?  But if you don't want to be with me, I want to hear you say it and I want to know why.  He called me tonight and proceeded to tell me he thought we should stop seeing each other.  Basically that he was too busy and he didn't see it changing any time soon.  He said take care, good luck and that was about it. 

Two months of knowing someone down the drain.  But you know I'm glad it's just done.  I'm glad to know.  It could have been done a week ago, but that's beside the point I guess.  I'm glad it didn't drag on longer than it did. 

It's just hurtful.  Hurtful that it feels like he really didn't care.  Didn't care about my feelings obviously.  And yet he was the one to initiate this whole thing.  He was the one making plans for a weekend trip away.  He was the one talking about me staying the night and getting my own toothbrush for his place.  How can guys just stop caring so quickly?  Just be so over it?  Because he definitely is.  I mean he changed his mind in a matter of 24 hours.  Why didn't he just tell me then it was over?  Instead he acted like he was still interested and then he turned around and acted like a douche.

Overall, I'm glad I put myself out there.  That I got back into dating after going a year without seeing anyone.  But at the same time, I think I would have been better off not knowing him.  He was just a small blip on my radar.  He wasn't a great love and sometime, in the very near future, he won't even be worth talking about. 

So onward I go.  Focusing on the people and things that mean the most to me.  The friends who are a constant in my life, even as the guys come and go.  Staying focused on my goals and dreams, including being excited about getting into Graduate School.  Yep that's right I did!  I'm waiting to get the official letter, but the program (Political Science) I applied to has accepted me. So hopefully in just a few weeks I will be back in school.  Kinda crazy and scary, but I'm excited!  Now if Peace Corps will just get busy on my placement I will be all set.  :)  

I can't do too much about my love life, but stories about online guy are over and done.  Thanks for bearing with me and for all your supportive comments!