Power of Positive Thinking

I believe in the power of positive thinking and that is how I plan to direct my thoughts for the day, for the week, and hopefully for the month.  Maybe it will even become a habit, but lets not get carried away yet. 

I've decided that August is going to be a good month for me.  Hence, the positive thinking. 

• I will be accepted into graduate school
• I will be accepted into the writing workshop I applied for
• I will receive my invitation for the Peace Corps

I feel it and I believe it.  All these things will happen in the next few weeks. 

Also grouped into that positive thinking is my dating life.  I think I'm done with my online guy.  I'm just not interested in playing games.  I don't want to go a week hardly hearing from the guy I'm seeing.  I know he's busy, but we all work, we're all busy.  You can still pick up a phone. 

We had a date Friday, that he initiated.  We decided to see a movie and he agreed to see Crazy, Stupid, Love even though he wanted to see Cowboys vs. Aliens.  I guess that was a pretty good sacrifice for him.  The movie started at 7:45.  He showed up promptly at 7:45.  I had already stood in line and bought our tickets because I didn't want to miss the beginning.  It was kind of frustrating, because we didn't even have time to talk before going into the movie.  Things were already kind of weird and that didn't help.  I know he wasn't technically late, but it felt like it.  I'm thinking I've hardly heard from this guy all week and now I'm having to pay for our date!!  He did give me money at the end of the night to cover the tickets, but still..

We went and grabbed a drink after the movie and it was still weird, just kind of quiet between us.  I asked why things were weird and he admitted that he had been neglecting me and he knew I wasn't happy about it.  He was almost irritated with me and my expectations.  Said I expected him to do everything he was doing before plus everything he had to do now.  I guess he thinks I'm being unreasonable.  I don't expect him to be Superman, but you pursue a woman for a month and now all of a sudden you're just too "busy". 

We had tentative plans on Sunday.  He said I could come over, we'd order a pizza, watch a movie but that he probably wouldn't be the best company.  He was still busy writing, it was taking longer than he had thought it would.  I told him I understood and that maybe I'd come by and we would just see how it goes. 

I decided not to go to his place.  I didn't want to make a nuisance of myself if he was busy.  But all day I never heard from him.  He didn't text or call to see if I was coming or what the situation was.  I felt like all week long I was the one having to get in touch with him so I decided not to contact him.  It is now 8 on Monday and I still have not heard from him.  I think it's best to cut my losses.  I'm kind of irritated by the whole thing.  Why are you on a dating site, when apparently you don't have time to date? 

I have deleted my profile from the dating website.  I'm not giving up on dating, but I've decided not to date anyone before I leave for the Peace Corps, which I don't even know when that will be yet.  I'm just tired of people briefly coming into my life.  I don't understand the point in that.  I do believe each person is used to teach us something, but what did this guy teach me?  Not to use a dating website?  I want someone to come into my life that plans to stay awhile.  Otherwise, I'm not sure if it's worth the hassle. 

There is someone I'm interested in that I've been talking to for the last few months.  The problem is that he lives in D.C. and not here in Tennessee.  We met when we had a class together my freshman year in college.  I like that we have some history and have known each other for awhile.  I have literally talked to him everyday since we've started talking again.  We say good morning and good night to each other every day.  I just love that we have such a good base of friendship.  We have a really good chemistry and I would love to see where things could go with us.  Unfortunately he leaves for Africa in January.  He's in the military and will be stationed there for a little while.  So he's going to be overseas, I'm going to be overseas...  Maybe one day we'll be able to get together if time and the fates allow. 

When you start dating someone do you play a game in your mind?  Do you pair your name with their last name to see how it'll sound in case you get married?  Sometimes a flash of what my future could be like passes before eyes.  This guy is just such a good guy and he wants to settle down and have kids.  Already I've got our life wrapped up with a pretty little bow!

But really only time will be able to tell us if we'll get together or not.  In the mean time, we'll continue to talk and maybe even plan a visit. 

No matter what though, I'm going to keep up the power of positive thinking! 

Are you having good thoughts today?