Yesterday I told my friend I was going to get on eHarmony. I'm not sure why this popped into my head or why I thought I would do this, but it did and my friend was really supportive of it. I just figured it could be a way to meet someone new and go on a date. I'm not thinking I'm going to find the love of my life via the internet, although anything is possible I guess. I've never used an online dating site before, but once about 3 years ago I got on eHarmony and answered all the questions and set up a profile just to see what kind of people I would be "compatible" with. I got this idea from the same friend that supports me using the website now. Him and his girlfriend at the time had gone to eHarmony and answered all the questions to see if they were compatible (they were not).
Anyway I feel like this is turning into somewhat of a dilemma for me. I feel like such a LOSER for thinking about online dating. I definitely don't mean to offend anyone by saying that, I would be supportive and encouraging of a friend if they wanted to try it and there really is nothing wrong with it. Just for me I feel like if I'm that great why would I need to look for a guy online. Like why can't I find a guy another way? I'm in my mid twenties, single, not bad looking, good personality, have a decent job, I'm ambitious and somewhat motivated, lol so what's the problem? Really I'm just not going anywhere to meet a guy, unless you count work. A lot of my friends are married or in a relationship now and I would just kind of like to meet someone outside my immediate social group. eHarmony offers free communication with your matches for the month of February, the catch is that you can't see anyone's photo so what's the point in that??? lol I looked onto match.com too and you can view some photos on there without subscribing to anything. I was tempted to sign up for a month on eHarmony, which is $60!, just to see my matches photos and maybe just see what happens. Match.com is only $35 for a month.
Ugh it seems crazy to even be thinking of paying for this to try and meet someone to go on a date. I don't know why my single status is getting to me so much at the moment. I mean hello I'm in the application process for peace corps which would keep me out of the country for over two years, not exactly prime time to try and start any time of relationship right? I've had people pursue me in the last year and I just wasn't that interested. I didn't make the effort to see this one guy in particular and I think it's because I knew he just wasn't what I was looking for. I didn't have any kind of feeling or immediate connection with him, and to me that's important. I'm one of those people that I think I will know right away if I like you and want to pursue something, for the most part it's not something that is going to eventually grow on me.
Like I told a previous boyfriend, we had been dating for 6 months and weren't in love so for me it was never going to be there. If it wasn't there by that point why would I think it would be there later? He didn't agree with me though, he would have been happy to continue with things the way they were.
I just had to vent this all out. If anyone else has tried internet dating and has any success or horror stories I'd be happy to hear them! I'll keep you posted on if I decide to actually go through with it!
There's nothing wrong with online dating (you're not a loser!), but please don't sign up for eHarmony unless you're cool with the fact that they are homophobic and discriminate against the nonreligious.
ReplyDeleteOK Cupid is free and inclusive. My roommate uses it and had a cute date a few weeks ago. Then she didn't return his calls after the second date. See? That could be you! But you sound nice enough to say you're not interested.
I dabbled in online dating for awhile because my life just doesn't intersect with quality available men. Things I learned, you get what you put into it. When I was on it more I was more successful in getting dates. Avoid EHarmony unless you're looking to get married. Plus it's expensive. Plenty of Fish is free and depending on where you live, decent. If you want a paid service, I know two couples who met and married off Match.com. It's a little lower stakes than EHarmony. People there want to be in a relationship but aren't necessarily focused on marriage. Good luck on your endeavors.
ReplyDelete"Like why can't I find a guy another way? I'm in my mid twenties, single, not bad looking, good personality, have a decent job, I'm ambitious and somewhat motivated, lol so what's the problem?"
ReplyDeleteSubstitute woman for the guy and I ask myself that all the time. I don't think you need to look down upon "online dating", it's a good way to meet people you wouldn't otherwise meet, and sometimes you even get a new friendship - but there is a lot of BS and wasted time involved.
I found both plentyoffish and okcupid to be a complete waste of time (as in, you get what you pay for...which is nothing), but one of my close friends from college met a great guy on OKC. One of my acquaintances also met her BF on OKC and they have a fantastic relationship. It's possibly, but I know that both went on several crummy dates before they met the decent guys.
If you do go the eHarmony or match.com route, definitely google for coupon codes, because they are out there and there's no reason to pay full price.